If you drive a car, sooner or later
your child will expect to drive one too. For most teens, the day they can
legally drive is the moment they want
to get behind the wheel. How can you make certain your child is ready when that
time comes?
First, learning to drive starts now,
no matter how old your child is. As you drive through town, with your child in
the backseat, talk about the rules of the road as they come up. Notice the
signs and talk about what they mean. Talking about driving starts long before
your child is tall enough to see over the steering wheel.
As soon as your child is old enough
to sit in the passenger seat, that’s where he should sit at least some of the
time. Now your driving conversations get more specific, as you point out
possible hazards and how you handle them. Get your child thinking about
driving, watching the traffic, and helping you notice dodgy situations.
Second, make it clear to your child
long before he turns 16, that driving is a privilege that carries with it some
heavy responsibilities. Driving is not a right. Let him know that you will be
watching for signals that he’s ready to drive a car and that when you see he’s
ready you will agree to let him learn.
At the same time, don’t make
learning to drive an exercise in extortion. Don’t make your permission
dependent on getting straight As in school or setting other impossibly high
standards as a prerequisite to learning to drive. Be fair and treat your child
fairly.
Remember that driving is a complex
skill and it takes lots of practice to get good enough at it to be safe. This
means that even if your child takes driver’s ed in school or gets private
lessons, you will still have to help her practice driving as much as possible.
The more situations, the more weather, the more sorts of roadways your child
drives under your watchful eye, the better.
Keep your eye on the law. Be
careful to get things off on the right foot by keeping your child out from
behind the wheel until he’s legally allowed to get a learner’s permit. Once
your child gets his license, pay attention to the limitations your state puts
on teen drivers. In most states, new drivers are not allowed to drive after
dark or to drive with other teens in the car. Make certain your child follows
the law – and make certain he knows the law even if he’s just riding while a
friend drives.
Finally, as always, model what you
want to see, even if you don’t want to see it for another five years. Now is
the time to be mindful of your own driving, so your children see the best
possible example. Don’t use your cell phone when you drive and avoid other
distractions, like hunting for something on the floor while you go down the
road. Always use your seat belt. Don’t speed. Come to a full stop at stop
signs. Do not put yourself in the position later of having to insist on rules
your child thinks you yourself ignore.
When it comes to preparing a child
to learn to drive, “Do as I do and do
as I say,” is the safest way. Start modeling good driving now and start talking
about good driving. No matter how young your child is now, the time to start
driver’s ed is today.
©
2014, Patricia Nan Anderson. All rights reserved. This material may not be
published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Look for free downloads on
Dr. Anderson’s website at www.patricianananderson.com.
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